She's so HOT!!!

What could be better than driving a convertible in Southern California with the warm ocean breeze blowing your hair and the sun on your face? Sounds divine, right? Well, there is a point at which “hot” takes on a new meaning.

My car is adorable, metallic blue with a black top. The “idea” of driving this hot little car around town made me giggle with anticipation. The reality was, however, that this particular car has no air conditioning and on my first day of driving the temperature reached 105. Not fun. Trapped inside this sweatbox with no escape from the ball of fire in the sky turned my cute little ride into a torture chamber. I wondered why I didn’t just get out; the heat was relentless. Even complete strangers were looking at me with pity (and a touch of “are you NUTS?”).

For some of you, this might ring a bell – maybe not with a car but with a “hot” date. When you first saw her, she took your breath away. Three months later, that cute little chassis was tormenting you with “heat” you were not counting on. Nagging, controlling, belittling heat. And yet, you sat there suffering through the agony as if you had no other choice, as if you were locked inside this relationship with no escape.

Here’s the big news flash – in any car (or relationship), the locks are on the inside and there is a way out. It was by choice that I stayed and put up with the heat. Not a smart choice, by the way. Right there in front of me were much cooler options: air conditioned restaurants with cold iced tea, the mall with cool air and a roof to block the sun, home, with a frig and hammock.

Even if I simply pulled over, parked the car, got out and sat alone under a tree I would have been better off. There is a point at which each of us decides we can no longer take the heat. What does your temperature gauge read?

Thoughts?

Mama j

Repo-Man

I had the “opportunity” to drive a car that was being repossessed. A friend gladly loaned me the car so that it would be “off the radar” when the Repo-Man came to their house to haul the vehicle away.

Great idea; park it in a different place every night, always watch to see if you are being followed and make sure you don’t drive alone just in case a big-bad-man with the bald head and missing teeth asks you to step out of the car.

Many teens have “ex’s” that pursue them the same way a Repo-Man would follow a car owner who is avoiding payment. These stalkers are often hiding around the corner, under-cover and determined to get what they came for.

As a parent, this would top the list as one of the biggest fears I have for my children. The reality is, as a teen, you don’t have to necessarily be in a relationship with the Repo-Man for him to pursue you. He may just be on the hot trail to steal you away regardless of any enticement or influence. That’s bad enough. But what if you have been in a relationship with a girl or guy that insists on getting you back? Period. No discussion, no dissuasion, no discouragement.

While getting the real Repo-Man to back off when the property he wants does not belong to him, being stalked by an old boyfriend or girlfriend is not only frightening, it is simply unacceptable. There is a reason and a warning when the Repo-man is about to take back your vehicle. There is no good reason and very little warning when an individual decides to target you personally.

The fact is, you probably won’t get a letter in the mail or a phone call giving you the head’s up. You may not know it’s coming. You probably won’t even know you are being watched. But others will.

So, if someone mentions that a girl is obsessed with you or some boy is aggressively pursuing you, then listen. That might be the only “notice” you get and the price is too high to ignore the warning.

Thoughts?
Mama j

Too Good to be True

My husband and I went to a lovely wedding last week. Over 200 people dancing and celebrating the beginning of what we all hope will be a beautiful marriage. The food would have made Martha Stewart proud and the music kept my toes tappin’ in my “too-tight-wedding-only” shoes.

At one point the DJ asked all married couples to please make their way past the dessert table to the dance floor. As the couples young and old began to slow dance, the DJ would intermittently ask each pair to leave the floor if they had been married less than one year, two years, five years…you get the idea.

Each year was like a mile marker than flashed through my mind as a representation of how far we had come. Settling into year one, just getting comfy. Year three, a bump (called a baby boy) was a bit of a surprise but did not take us off course. Year seven marked the beginning of some restlessness and cloudy days. Year eleven, refreshed and working together to get where we want to go.

When I decided to take this relationship journey with my husband, we took a road and a route unique to use. We would have good days, bad days and all those in between but without those many miles, we would not be where we are to today – well seasoned travel companions.

The twenty-one years we have been together are counted in years not months. As important as the first months were to find compatibility, they are not the measurement of how far we have come.

When teens meet their “dream date” and start planning a wedding after six weeks, I respond with the wisdom that I have gained on this relationship journey. “It’s not too GOOD to be true, it’s too SOON to be true.”

Let me know when you get to mile marker #53.

Thoughts?

mama j

My goose is cooked!

So a teenage girl in our community was pulled over yesterday for speeding. She had two girls that she was babysitting for in the backseat taking notes. They are nine and six years old. Nice. Then, my neighbor calls to say some teenager leaving my house was driving so fast that he almost hit a flock of geese.

First, let's talk about the speeding thing. If you break the speed limit " just a little bit," are you really breaking the law? If you break your curfew "just a little bit," are you really breaking the rules? Do you think other parents will trust you to be driving or dating their teen if they can't trust you to follow the rules?

And then there is the eye witness thing. You just never know who has you under surveillance and is assuming you will be on the 11:00 news. Whose little eyes are watching you and learning about "obeying the rules?" What adult eyes are following your every move and not afraid to turn you in when they get the chance?

See, you can break driving laws and you can break dating rules; it's your prerogative. But that car door swings both ways. It is, in fact, the prerogative of my neighbors to pick up the phone and report what they witnessed from their front porch. And those little girls in the back seat? Do you think you aren't going to be the topic of conversation at the dinner table? Speeding may not be on your driving record but how do you know it didn't damage your personal record?

Before you go racing off into the sunset with the wind in your hair and your date riding shotgun, you might want to check your speedometer before your goose is cooked.

Thoughts?

mama j

Blinker Stinker

So I’m heading to the grocery store four short miles away and I end up behind what I call a “Blinker Stinker,” a person that does not believe in using their turn signal.

Blinker Stinkers have a communication issue; their bad road manners are probably second only to their unwillingness to share useful information. Using a turn signal is not as much for your benefit as for the benefit of those following you. Isn’t it nice to let someone else in on the secret of where you are headed? If you want to change direction, fine, that’s your prerogative. When you are in your car, you have the choice to let the rest of the drivers know where you are going by the simple flip of a switch.

In dating, the switch is right next to your lip. Communicate. Did you tell her you made other plans for Saturday night? Did you tell him you invited your best friend to go to the concert instead of him? Courtesy means giving someone plenty of notice, the sooner the better. Don’t just slam on the brakes and head west with no warning – that’s rude, disrespectful and can be very painful.

Blinker Stinkers are typically either self-centered or clueless, neither of which would look good on a dating resume. Are you a Blinker Stinker?

Thoughts?
Mama j

Possession Obsession

Bucket of suds and an over-sized sponge – what a way to spend Father’s Day – washing and waxing your most prized possession. Have you ever been curious about people who obsess over their cars? What drives them to spit-polish the mirror every time they go for a spin. Or spend 2 hours with an Oral B toothbrush cleaning the rims.

Makes you wonder how they would be on a date. What if you had a piece of spring leaf lettuce in your teeth at lunch? Or the sweater you were wearing was hanging slightly crooked? I can just envision an uninvited adjustment to make all things perfect…at least visually.

When someone is that fixated on the condition of something, is it possible to ever relax enough to simply enjoy the “something?”

Maybe before you venture into a relationship with an individual, it would be a good idea to pull up a chair in the driveway and watch this potential date wash their car before you end up as the object of their "possession obsession."

Thoughts?
Mama j

Under Insured

Have you looked at the bill for your car insurance lately? Every month, I like to rip the bill open with thrilling expectation in the hopes that my insurance company is going to throw in cruise tickets with the premium I pay for my teens. Nope.

Is there any doubt why teen insurance is two and a half times that of your parents? Reckless abandon with a splash of false immortality – that’s how some teens drive.

So here’s a question for you, how many opportunities do you have in a week to crack your windshield, hit a mailbox or worse, get in a car accident? Plenty, right? Then how much more likely is it that you have a “relationship accident?” Think about the opportunity you have every day to make a “wrong turn” when it comes to the opposite sex. What do you think your parent’s should be willing to pay for “dating insurance” to give them the peace of mind that their little darling is not going to be in a relationship wreck this month?

Hey! Maybe I’m onto something! A new business idea; I can sell “dating insurance” to cover all the hazards of teen dating. The list could include everything from failing grades to excessive cell phone bills. It would be comprehensive coverage that insured migraines, dating under the influence, pregnancy, harassment and even time off of school for “repair and restoration.”

The best part? I would throw in a “loaner date” when the one you invested in broke down and isn’t going anywhere.

Thoughts?
mama j