The Lug-nut Doesn't fall far from the tree

What’s in a name? As in Chrysler? Honda? Ford? Or Smith?

If you are familiar with the name, it probably evoked some sort of response when you read each one: “Chrysler-struggling” “Honda-dependable” “Ford-aggressive” “Smith-self-centered”

See, here is the thing; the “manufacturer” or parents can be a pretty good indicator of what they put out “on the showroom floor.” There is a reason you steer clear of the Toyota Dealership and would have no trouble taking a closer look at a BMW. There is a lot to be said for a name. Chrysler is the manufacturer; Sebring is the model.

Let me drive it home...Josh is the model and Smith is the manufacturer. Josh has parents that had a reputation long before he fell from the family tree.

The point is, when you buy a car, you put some consideration into who made that particular model. You don’t just discount the manufacturer.

The same goes for dating. How will you research the background of those who “made” Josh who he is today? How do find evidence of self-control, dependability, good decision-making and compassion? Are those options or standard features that come with every model?

Next time you meet someone, put a bit of time into finding out who produced this hot-rod. You might find the lug-nut doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Thoughts?

Mama j

http://www.DatersEd.com

Black Ice Dating

I hope she makes it home safely. It’s snowing and the roads are covered with ice. She isn’t a very experienced driver at 17 but I still let her journey out into the tundra praying she wouldn’t hit a sheet of black ice that looks like dry pavement.

Did I tell her how to respond to a skid? Should she turn the wheel with the skid or against it? Was this covered in Driver’s Ed or is it simply “learn as you go?”

How do parents teach their teens everything there is to know about driving conditions and dating relationships? Both roads lead to hazardous situations that we can’t predict. Both driving and dating can go from safe to scary in 47 seconds flat. Will my daughter be able to use her head to avoid disaster or will she be frozen with fear. Will my son recognize that he is accelerating at a dangerous speed and know to slow down?

Just because we aren’t sitting in the seat beside you doesn’t mean we stop instructing you on driving conditions. How often then should we be addressing the manner in which you are handling your relationships?

My daughter may have passed Driver’s Ed but every day is another test. Maybe I have drilled “cautious dating” into her head a thousand times but every day will be a new opportunity for her to get that right or wrong.

Weather and traffic conditions prompt us to remind our teens to be safe on the roads every single day. How often should we evaluate our teen’s relationship safety and recognize that dry pavement could be black ice? Do you know how to avoid a catastrophic skid?

Thoughts,

mama j

She's so HOT!!!

What could be better than driving a convertible in Southern California with the warm ocean breeze blowing your hair and the sun on your face? Sounds divine, right? Well, there is a point at which “hot” takes on a new meaning.

My car is adorable, metallic blue with a black top. The “idea” of driving this hot little car around town made me giggle with anticipation. The reality was, however, that this particular car has no air conditioning and on my first day of driving the temperature reached 105. Not fun. Trapped inside this sweatbox with no escape from the ball of fire in the sky turned my cute little ride into a torture chamber. I wondered why I didn’t just get out; the heat was relentless. Even complete strangers were looking at me with pity (and a touch of “are you NUTS?”).

For some of you, this might ring a bell – maybe not with a car but with a “hot” date. When you first saw her, she took your breath away. Three months later, that cute little chassis was tormenting you with “heat” you were not counting on. Nagging, controlling, belittling heat. And yet, you sat there suffering through the agony as if you had no other choice, as if you were locked inside this relationship with no escape.

Here’s the big news flash – in any car (or relationship), the locks are on the inside and there is a way out. It was by choice that I stayed and put up with the heat. Not a smart choice, by the way. Right there in front of me were much cooler options: air conditioned restaurants with cold iced tea, the mall with cool air and a roof to block the sun, home, with a frig and hammock.

Even if I simply pulled over, parked the car, got out and sat alone under a tree I would have been better off. There is a point at which each of us decides we can no longer take the heat. What does your temperature gauge read?

Thoughts?

Mama j

Repo-Man

I had the “opportunity” to drive a car that was being repossessed. A friend gladly loaned me the car so that it would be “off the radar” when the Repo-Man came to their house to haul the vehicle away.

Great idea; park it in a different place every night, always watch to see if you are being followed and make sure you don’t drive alone just in case a big-bad-man with the bald head and missing teeth asks you to step out of the car.

Many teens have “ex’s” that pursue them the same way a Repo-Man would follow a car owner who is avoiding payment. These stalkers are often hiding around the corner, under-cover and determined to get what they came for.

As a parent, this would top the list as one of the biggest fears I have for my children. The reality is, as a teen, you don’t have to necessarily be in a relationship with the Repo-Man for him to pursue you. He may just be on the hot trail to steal you away regardless of any enticement or influence. That’s bad enough. But what if you have been in a relationship with a girl or guy that insists on getting you back? Period. No discussion, no dissuasion, no discouragement.

While getting the real Repo-Man to back off when the property he wants does not belong to him, being stalked by an old boyfriend or girlfriend is not only frightening, it is simply unacceptable. There is a reason and a warning when the Repo-man is about to take back your vehicle. There is no good reason and very little warning when an individual decides to target you personally.

The fact is, you probably won’t get a letter in the mail or a phone call giving you the head’s up. You may not know it’s coming. You probably won’t even know you are being watched. But others will.

So, if someone mentions that a girl is obsessed with you or some boy is aggressively pursuing you, then listen. That might be the only “notice” you get and the price is too high to ignore the warning.

Thoughts?
Mama j

Blinker Stinker

So I’m heading to the grocery store four short miles away and I end up behind what I call a “Blinker Stinker,” a person that does not believe in using their turn signal.

Blinker Stinkers have a communication issue; their bad road manners are probably second only to their unwillingness to share useful information. Using a turn signal is not as much for your benefit as for the benefit of those following you. Isn’t it nice to let someone else in on the secret of where you are headed? If you want to change direction, fine, that’s your prerogative. When you are in your car, you have the choice to let the rest of the drivers know where you are going by the simple flip of a switch.

In dating, the switch is right next to your lip. Communicate. Did you tell her you made other plans for Saturday night? Did you tell him you invited your best friend to go to the concert instead of him? Courtesy means giving someone plenty of notice, the sooner the better. Don’t just slam on the brakes and head west with no warning – that’s rude, disrespectful and can be very painful.

Blinker Stinkers are typically either self-centered or clueless, neither of which would look good on a dating resume. Are you a Blinker Stinker?

Thoughts?
Mama j