Smokin' Hot!

A recent question was submitted to TrustMyMechanic.com about how to troubleshoot car exhaust smoke.

The reader asked, “My car frequently smokes from the tailpipe; does this mean I need an engine overhaul?”

I don’t know about you, but whenever I see smoke, it usually isn’t a good sign, (unless I’m roasting marshmallows over a bonfire.)

Let’s think about this for a minute. Just imagine heading out to the car lot shopping for your new ride. You find one that in your words is “smokin’ hot” and ask to take it for a test drive. With keys in hand, you hop in and turn on the ignition. You rev the engine a bit and billows of smoke engulf the car. What is your first reaction? Impressed? Deep down in your gut do you have the feeling that maybe there is something wrong here? (Ok, maybe you will know just by the hacking, choking sensation.)

Just the fact that a reader had to ask the question indicates that for the most part, smoke is not a healthy sign – for a car or a date. I agree that it doesn’t necessarily mean a complete overhaul is needed but no question, there is an issue that needs to be addressed.

Call me crazy, but I would bet that most dealerships trying to “sell” a vehicle would make sure that before the car goes out onto the lot, it is smoke-free. Something tells me it would be a much harder sell when the driver has to hold his nose with one hand and frantically wave the smoke away with the other. Not a good first impression…or second for that matter.

Thoughts?
mama j

Age Shouldn’t Matter

My car had a birthday recently and is now five years old. Sounds young but in “car years” the Olds is more than just obsolete. By advertising “2004” if I decided to get rid of this car, I would be hard pressed to get many “lookers.” Age matters.

I had a birthday recently, too. A friend was commenting on the year we were both born and I responded, “Age doesn’t matter!” Not a true statement.

Let’s be honest. Anyone out there looking for a dating relationship knows that age is one of the biggest obstacles in marketing yourself. That number will instantly place you in a category that you may or may not choose to be a part of…voluntarily. It’s just the way it is. Try to pass for 30 when you are 50 and chances are you will get a rejection letter or two.

So how does that apply when at 17 years old you are head over heels with a 25 year old? Age doesn’t matter? Do you justify the age gap with a list of reasons why this is a good idea? “She is really young for her age.” He is much more mature that his friends.” “She really doesn’t look that old.”

What if we use those lines when we take you shopping for your first car? “This car is in great shape for being so old.” “ This one has a lot more miles on it than the others I’ve found.” Does you want a brand new car but then you date a girl that has an odometer reading that spells “vintage?”

It is true that the older we get, the less an age gap will matter in a relationship. The seven-year difference between a 1969 Ford and a 1962 Ford is not as critical as say, a 2009 Ford and a 2002. Would you be willing to trade in the new car you got for your 16th birthday for a car that is six years older? Why not? Age shouldn’t matter.

Thoughts?
mama j

Bank of Dad or Money Mommy?

Janet Bodnar, Deputy Editor of Kiplinger’s Personal Finance magazine recently addressed the new “pre-paid debit card” for kids. In her interview, she explains how easy it is to put money on the card in advance for teens to have access to funds without carrying cash around. Cool, huh?

Whether or not you want one of these cards, an interesting question does come to mind when parents extend the privilege of both dating and driving and who funds the excursions.

We are a credit culture and kids have grown accustomed to seeing “the card” used at the grocery store, the movie theatre and the pump. What exactly is the message we are sending you when no cash is actually passing through our fingers, let alone yours?

I remember going out with friends when I was in High School and the dreaded “ask” for money from my parents before bouncing out the door in pigtails clutching my macramé purse. They gave me cash. Cold hard cash. I had worked hard for that money sweeping the garage and doing dishes. These green bills came at a very dear price and once they were gone, I was on my own…until the next chore was done.

Financial responsibility in driving or dating is inevitable. Your car will beg for gas. You will beg a new pair of pants. You will beg for movie tickets. How long are your parent’s arms and how deep are their pockets? An even better question might be, “are you really grateful for the privilege of driving and dating when the funds are unlimited and there are no strings attached?" Maybe time with “Chris” isn’t worth the price of a movie ticket…when it’s your money. Hmmm?

Thoughts?
mama j

More than "One Way"

Panic, confusion, revelation. You can’t believe this is happening and yet the signs were there, larger than life. “One Way” with a big fat arrow. No mistake, just a touch of arrogance and carelessness that landed you in this predicament.

What now? How do you turn around and go back the right way? People stop and stare with a blend of judgment, pity and recognition on their faces – they’ve seen others do the same. They know how you got there and with a glance of “I told you so” they watch to see what you will do.

Relationships have rules just like driving. You can ignore the rules with the confidence and ignorance that you know a faster, easier or better way to get where you think you want to go only to find yourself facing the masses heading in the other direction. What do they know that you have not yet figured out? What makes you think you can break the rules and not end up in a predicament?

If you want to be creative, different and not follow the traffic of people that obey the signs, you will have to pay the consequences. Sure, you might get away with it a time or two when no one else is around but eventually, you will end up in a jam. There are rules of the road. Do you want to end up going the wrong way down a clearly marked one-way street? There is still time to turn around.

Thoughts?
mama j

Plan to Fail

Imagine going to Driver’s Ed and the instructor never leaves his desk, hands you the car keys and says, “I don’t have anything planned for today, do whatever you want.” Would you feel like you are getting the practice, education and exposure you need to be a responsible driver? Why then do you walk out the door to go on a date with no agenda, no plan and no idea what you are supposed to be learning?

Segment Two in Driver’s Ed is all about the experience…with supervision. A healthy, fully developed adult brain over the age of 25 is sitting right there in the seat beside you, the jittery teen, making sure your emotions don’t run you into the neighbor’s mailbox. The goal is to expose you to every possible driving scenario with an instructor that will equip you for the open road on your own someday. What are the tools we can give you that will help you to learn to drive or date more intentionally? Is it all in the head knowledge and everything can be taught from a book? Or do we buckle you up and allow you to safely experience some of the thrills and fears of the actual hours logged?

There is a great quote that sheds light on the pathway to responsibility when it comes to both dating and driving. “If you fail to plan, plan to fail.” These words of wisdom only work when put into action. What plan do you have in place to make your dating exposure have the best possible outcome?

Thoughts?
mama j

Under Construction

What’s up with perpetual construction on the freeways? Orange barrels dented and thumped from months of standing guard as the watchmen for the never-ending asphalt trucks and busy workers. Don’t they ever rest? Nope.

Freeways are high maintenance – so are some dates. Have you ever noticed how a particular boyfriend or girlfriend seems to be “under construction” for months, even years at a time? What’s up with that? Every few feet there is another blatant warning that you will encounter a slowdown or bottleneck in the flow of your relationship. You find yourself exhausted from a constant state of “alert” and white-knuckling for hours on end. In an honest moment, you tell yourself it’s just not the way the trip was supposed to be. And yet you drive on not knowing where it will end.

Here’s the good news. There is always another way. Always. You do not have to go down that road. Sure, that was the plan but you don’t have to wait until you have close encounter with rebar and wire mesh protruding from broken concrete before taking the next exit. You can pick another route. Really, put on your turn signal and give it a try – you might actually find that you like the smoother, quieter option.

Thoughts?
mama j

Snowed - again

Yesterday it snowed almost six inches in six hours. Cars in ditches everywhere. Freeway frenzy.

The funny part about blizzards is that it seems to bring out the best and the worst in people. On one hand, you have stressed out loved ones urging, pleading, even screaming about the impending doom. On the other hand, you have friends and neighbors leaving the cocoa on the counter to traverse the tundra just to push you out of a ditch.

There will be times in your dating relationship when everything goes white and you end up in a really tough spot completely helpless and dependent on others. So who do you call for help? Who do you have on speed dial that will give you relief not grief? Your parents who will hiss, “We told you not to go out!” Your brother or sister who wants to know “what’s in it for me?”

Here ‘s what I’ve learned. When your wheels are spinning and you are stuck all alone, take a minute to think about what got you there in the first place. Was this something you could have avoided if you had listened to the crowd of people that know you the best? Were they right in their prediction that this kind of thing was bound to happen?

Sure, this can happen to anyone without warning but most of the people I meet in the ditch had plenty of warning from those who could see the storm brewing. They just chose not to listen.
So go ahead and call your friends to push you out of the mess you’re in. But next time, turn up the volume and listen to the warnings you ignored the last time.

Thoughts?
mama j